Monday, November 29, 2010

The house is quiet

We are home from our "Thanksgiving Feast" as Jonah called it.  I may never get through the pictures.  I watched the children play and I snapped and I snapped and I snapped.  I put the camera down, but no...I see another shot...then another...then another.  Hundreds of just random pictures to go through.  I couldn't help but continue, because it is this that I look back on from my childhood and smile.  The horribly lighted polaroids, the goofy faces, the full house, the smiles, the embarrassing moments and the laughter.  They tell a story of my childhood, and I feel a calling to tell the story of my little angels' childhood for them.

They really enjoyed their cousins, and oh did they dance.

And snack.

Amazing how life happens in the kitchen.

 And how they could care less if this old piano is in tune.

I might could find something similar to this in my old photos.

Oh, but certainly not this.

They cheered.

I just can't let my sweet angels forget this.  Kids, you did the entire Insanity work-out with my love and Aunt Kelly.  I am ashamed to say that you probably did better than I could have as I stood back and used my camera as an excuse not to join in.

And they cried and got in trouble a lot too.  That's just how it is.  But the happy times are what they will always remember.  They will remember Grandmommy's back rubs.  They will remember the shape of every room in this house.  They will remember decorating the tree and putting up the Santas.  Oh yes.  It is here.'s in the air.

And now we are home and the house is quiet.  I must unplug our tree and turn out the lights.  The children are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little Elf friend.  I must go to sleep so he can land on a shelf and keep an eye out on us all.

And whoever you are, as always, thanks for stopping by.  A friend of mine told me that the people who love me do.  So thanks...and I love you too.  Good night.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I never was a Cornflake Girl

I've had a reoccurring thought the last few days.  It’s so good to be in my 30’s and be myself and not care what anybody thinks.  I’m just sayin’.  It’s awesome.  With that said…

I like Apple Jacks, Reese’s Puffs, Blueberry Morning and flakes with raisins and almonds and stuff.  I like making recipes out of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans….chocolate covered cherry is my favorite.  I hate tea.  I’ve never had a Big Mac in my life.  Last night, my dinner consisted of the ends I cut off my kids' toast, a couple pieces of sliced ham, Chex Mix, a few left over tootsie rolls and a glass of wine.  All while in motion.  I hate cleaning bathrooms.  I love to vacuum.  I love this song.  It’s a little dark and I like that.  I wish I could play the piano like she does.  I like to sing and dance with my kids and create our own little concerts.  I love high heels (especially red ones) and tall boots.  I hope I live at least till I’m 80 so I can wear them the entire time.  I’m sure I'll be 80 with long hair.  I am an Aerospace Engineer.  I am proud of that, but it doesn’t define me.  I hate working in a cubicle every day.  I can’t sing out loud to the ipod music in my ears that gets me through, and I don't have a window.  I function better with a little natural light.  I need more sun in my life.

I am a mother.  I strive to be as good as mine was.  I love this job the best.  I love these two beautiful children so much it hurts.  I stare at their pictures when I am away from them and count down the minutes till I can see them again.  They are my biggest accomplishment.  They always will be.

How will we raise them right?  Not totally sure.  I know this.  I will remind them over and over and over to always be themselves.  My Mama never followed the normal or typical path.  She did what made her happy and people were drawn to her.

“This above all:  to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.  Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!” -William Shakespeare

I was reminded of this quote recently by Kelle Hampton.  I think I should pay it forward.  It is pretty powerful.  You bet your life it is.

I sure do like blogging.  It’s good for me.  I think I’ll keep doing it.  I can be me.  To thine own self be true!

What makes you YOU?  Think about it.  Whatever it is, it’s good stuff…even if it’s just cornflakes.

Monday, November 15, 2010

This one's for you babe...

Because we miss you, and I know how much you are missing them right now.

See, my love and I had a great weekend...thanks to his sisters.  We cheered for the Auburn Tigers in person while the kids hung out in our home town with their cousins.  It was so fun.  We were like kids again.  But we missed these two blonde hair, blue eyed kids.  It's hard being away from them.  So there was a lot of "Look how cute she is!" and "We have to get Jonah a Cam Newton jersey like his!"  This is what you do as parents away from your kids.  And then of course, we went shopping for them.  

We got back late last night and my love had to hit the road today.  So, this is for you.  For ordering your boy 100 Pokemon Cards on Ebay for like two dollars.  For all you did for us before you left the house today.  So that I can tell you how Jesse said she wanted you to rock her to sleep tonight and how much she told me she missed you.  And just because I love you and sometimes should trust in you a little more.  You are our foundation.  Be safe and come home.


Tonight we cheered for Auburn and for Daddy.  They loved their gifts babe. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

Sounds like some exotic fruit from Brazil ha?  Say Brrrrazzzil with a Brazilian accent.  Ah, come on.  It's so fun.  Brrrrazzilian Jiu-Jitsu.  Anyway.  No, it's a sport.  Jonah is in training.  What the hell is it though you say?  It looks like wrestling, but they are dressed like Karate...simply put.  We are trying it out.  This is our first week.  One week of free practice.  The boy has never been this excited about anything.  This Southern girl didn't have a clue what it was.  I know softball, baseball, football and basketball.  The rest of this is like a foreign language.  Eventually, I will learn all the rules and seem more worldly.

Jiu-Jitsu supposedly teaches him real world self how to fight from the ground and free yourself from someone twice your size.  Sounds cool because chances are he will be in a fight one day.  Well, it doesn't sound cool that he might eventually have to protect himself in this way, but I guess I can say he will be prepared.

Yeah, chances are he will get in a fight one day.  

Will he always smile so much during the entire fight??  I seriously looked and looked for a serious fighting picture, but the boy smiles even when he is down.  He's just so damn happy.  Amazing.  It makes me think of Chipper Jones during his first season with the Braves.  Remember that smile as he rounded the bases after a Home Run?  Then he got used to it and he quit smiling.  That was sad.  I hope Jonah never quits smiling.

Defend yourself Jonah....happily.  That's my boy.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Tonight, I thought I would catch up and actually have some of these pictures I take printed.  It's getting pretty pathetic how very few of Jesse I have on the wall compared to Jonah.  It's also pretty pathetic that most of Jonah's are his baby pictures.  So, I had this goal in mind when I sat down.  Guess how far I got?  You got it, not very.

Why?  Because I just get lost in them.  I have so many that I don't even know where to start.  I know, such a pathetic problem too ha?  Then, I asked my love.  Which ones?  What would you like to see?  He said, the one from Serendipity.  Oh yeah.  I do love that one.  I mean, it wouldn't win any photography prize, but it sure is special to me.  Then I started playing with it and reliving New York.  Oh the Frozen Hot Chocolate and Ice Cream Sundays.  Wonderful memories.

And I didn't send one single picture to be printed.  Oh well, I'll get to it.  More importantly, I have this serendipity.

Serendipity is a propensity for making fortunate discoveries while looking for something unrelated.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


When you are a full-time working Mom, well, it's more than full time, it's 24/7.  I spend my entire day trying to figure out some algorithm of some sort and I come home and immediately begin studying for spelling, reading, grammar and whatever.  We spent 2 hours between those subjects tonight.  Jonah's in first grade.  Did we have fun tonight playing games?  Well, I tried to make it fun by giving a treat from the Halloween bag for every correctly spelled Spelling word.  That's about as much fun as we had.  What's wrong with this???  I wish I could ask my Mama....did you do this with me in first grade?  Probably not.  Is it public school now?  What the hell do they do during the day?  What if I didn't do anything with him at night?  Do other parents spend this much time?  I don't know.  Right now, I just feel exhausted and all of the sudden home schooling seems ideal.  Sorry to complain, but I could teach him whatever they do all day at school in two hours at home and be done.  That's all I'm saying about that.

I need a happy picture.  Actually, this one seems to be just right.  Frustration release.  Thank you.

Calming down now.  Just needed to let that out.  Tracy Chapman helps too.  But really, he did so well for me tonight.  He didn't complain too much at all.  After spelling, then nouns, then reading comprehension....and then guess what he said?  "I have one more homework!"  I'm like, what?  He said science.  I said OK.  We did science.  He's an awesome kid.  What would I do without him?  I guess Entertainment Tonight and that crap is not that important.  It would be nice to have a conversation with my love though.  Maybe later.  Good night.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Jesse's Story

My dear friend, my twin we refer to each other as, sent me this song today.  She says it makes her think of trying for her second son, Miles.  I listened to it and cried.  We get each other on so many levels.  We work together in a man’s world, but I don’t feel like talking about that.  We have leaned on each other through some difficult when we wanted our second child.

So, I told her eventually I would tell Jesse’s story.  When she sent me this song, well, I figured it was my sign to do it.  It’s sort of hard because not many people know.  No one wants that wimpy, sorry for you look, so I kept it in tight.  Of course, I leaned on my love and a few good friends who will always know everything that goes on in my life.  But anyway, here it goes.  Just look at my little miracle.

Of course we’ll have one more child.  Shouldn’t be a problem.  Jonah was so easy.  But as so many people have found, it ain’t always easy.  I charted, I took my temperature every single day… I followed the rules.  It didn’t make any sense.  I’m an engineer, a scientist.  This didn’t add up.  Then, I finally got pregnant.  And then, I miscarried once …. and then again.  Early miscarriages, but the pain is still there.  It took over a year and the details really do not matter.  And to be honest, I don’t remember a lot of those details, well, because like I said, it was tough and I just think I blocked some of it out…which I am very good at.

Third time around… Positive.  I held my breath.  She hang on.  She’s a tough girl.

Today, I look at her big, gorgeous cheeks and how she takes those perfect little hands to swipe her growing blonde hair from her sky blue eyes and cry.  Because I realize that all of that stuff….all of those tears….all of the sleepless nights…I would go through all over again just to have her.  I’m so thankful for all of it.  It’s life.  It’s beautiful.  Full of ups and downs, but if you are patient, the rewards are magical.  At this moment in my life, the reward was Jesse.

My twin at work, her name is Heather (of course it is, she’s my twin).  Thank you so much for this inspiration…for everything.

So, my sweet Jesse girl, I longed for you.  And, you completed our little family perfectly.  You make us laugh, like Jonah.  You’re tough, like your daddy.  You’ve never met a stranger.  You always remind us to put on our seat belts…always looking out for us like your grandmommy.  You are so loving.  Your presence is felt by everyone.  You command a room girl, just like my mother did.  You have passion… for things like the moon…like me.  You are the best of all of us.  I love that.  I love you.  I promise I always will.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Passion and Happy Halloween

It's late.  I can't help myself.  I have thousands of pictures yet again and I HAVE to see them.  I am passionate about it.  Hey, we all need passion about something.  I've said that my family is my passion, but so is capturing them in moments like this Halloween.  I love it.  Actually, I'm addicted.  It's a great addiction to have if you would like to choose one.  Brings so much joy...but I will warn you that sleep deprivation may come with it.  Photography can change your life people.  Once you catch the fever, you will spend most days thinking of and chasing after the most perfect picture.  Suddenly, every cloud formation and sunrise and sunset and full moon are so much more beautiful than you ever thought before.  It's amazing.  I prefer the pictures that really capture this beauty.  I am my own worst critic.  I have a lot to learn.  But, I'm having so much fun.

While my sweet family sleeps, I still see signs of Halloween all around me...Karate Kid's bandana and Black Cat's ears.  Their costumes were perfect for them...for their personalities.  They made good choices.  I'm guessing I will see a lot more of them and I am so glad.

Funny thing is that the picture doesn't have to be perfect.  When I find that goofy or angelic smile that takes me right back to that moment...that's just the best.  I have to stop though.  I haven't even touched them all yet.  Haven't even gone through the actual Trick or Treating ones or even all the Karate moves.  I can't wait.  I'm so excited to hopefully find more treasures hiding somewhere on my hard drive.  Until then, Happy Halloween.