Monday, October 4, 2010

When it don't come easy...

We've been home for a week and a half now.  Just long enough for all of us to get sick.  Nothing major.  Everybody is sick...everywhere.  I sit in my cubical at work and compare meds with my friend and share tissues.  I come home to treat one with antibiotic and the other with Vicks VapoRub, which for some reason makes me think of their Grandmommy and how she would probably like that I did that tonight.  Funny how certain smells make you think of someone.  Not that she smells like Vicks all the time or anything.  I could just totally see her rubbing Jesse down with this stuff.  Doesn't that sound like a Grandmotherly thing to do?  Didn't she tell me to put it on her feet?  Hmmmmm.  Will have to rub the feet in her sleep. Hey, it can't hurt.  The kid can't breathe.

The routine is rocked because my love is out of town as well.  We're winging it...eating turkey bacon and eggs and pancakes for dinner and stuff.  Jonah gets to sleep on the sofa...falling asleep to a dinosaur movie of some sort.  Jesse is in bed with me watching Elmo for the millionth time while singing "Happy Birthday to Mommy" because everyday is somebody's birthday.  All this just before she passes out, talks in her sleep all night about who knows what, and kicks me the rest of the time.  No, nothing about our family is by the book.  We do what works and I'm cool with that.

And, I'm drawn to them as they doze off.  I am amazed that just minutes ago they were bouncing off the walls, separating their silly bands by his and hers and asking for cereal for bedtime snack.  How do they do that?  Can you even imagine falling asleep that quickly?  It's pretty magical.  A sleeping child is just the most angelic thing I have ever witnessed in this lifetime.

I'll go to work in the morning and think about them all day and stare at my computer and also think to myself, "I used to be really smart."  Somewhere along the way, I've lost some of those critical,  concentrating, serious thinking, engineering skills.  Then, by 3:00 or so, I figure one thing out and feel a little better about myself.  I give myself a pat on the back before I jump into Mommy mode again.  So, I'm a little slow now, maybe that's all.  Maybe I haven't totally lost it.  Maybe.  I go home to the job that matters to me the most.   And then, I do it all, well, all over again.  Just like most Mom's really.  So, work is not always easy and neither is the Mommy thing.  But, it's so worth it.  I wouldn't change a thing.

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