I am a Mom, a Wife, a Sister, an Aunt, a Friend, a Super Duper Multi-Tasker, a Full Time Engineer, and I will always be.....Sandra's Daughter. Yes, I am also a Daughter to a woman who left this earth 10 years ago this past April. A fantastic woman. Every day when I sit down at work, I read this passage. I'm not a super religious person, but this gives me comfort. My sweet mother-in-law gave me a little angel holding scriptures years ago, well before my mother was even sick. I've always had it on my desk. There was a time that I was not working, and I moved it to my desk at home, but it has always been there for me. After my mother passed, I returned home and a new verse was in front. I had not changed the angel to a new verse in so long. I usually forgot to. I stood there in total shock.....reading the verse over and over.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Did she leave this here for me? I asked my love, "did you change this?" He said something like "No, but you know what, I accidentally dropped the angel while you were gone. All the verses fell on the floor, everywhere. I shuffled them up and put them back on her. I didn't pay attention to what the verse said that landed on top." Oooooohhhhhhh, I thought. But wait a minute, doesn't mean she or God didn't have a part in this. Smile. Thank you. I miss you every single day. I wish you could see the woman, the Mom I have become. I hope you would be proud of me. I love you.
I have never changed the verse sense that day. I never will.
April 2000...some day that month. I never understood why people remembered those days in time when a loved one passes. I have no idea which day it was. Isn't it more of a joy to remember her birthday, Christmases together? The April day was not a beautiful day to me. I guess I am still angry. Not at her. Just was never ready to let her go. But I did, and I told her it was OK. I told her I loved her and it was OK....I told her I was going to be OK. And I am. I'm changed, but I am OK. No, I'm great! I'm great because of her!
This moment defines me in so many ways. So, here I am blogging about my blessings in life and it doesn't feel complete without telling this story. I lost my mother too young. But you know, I would rather have had her for the time that I did than anyone else. I lost my father even younger...almost too young to remember. So, I go through every day and thank God for this opportunity to see the beauty in it all and appreciate it.
Mama, life is good. Wish we could sit down and have margaritas and watch the kids run in the back yard. They have so much of you in them. I love that.