Wednesday, December 15, 2010

This is a test.

So, I wish I had my night on video for you.  I left work at 4:00.  Two and a half hours or so later, I WALKED up my front yard and in the back door.  Yes, I walked.  I left my car in a ditch and I walked the rest of the way in my ballet flats and white pants.  I walked in the grass, when I could find it.  It was dark.  There was freezing rain.  People were trying to drive past me.  I saw a lady swirving.  I stopped.  She yelled, "Sorry!  I'm swirving."  I said, "Well then, maybe you should stop!"  Amazing.  Southerners.  We are all clueless.

Obvioulsy the roads were completely frozen.  Obviously, people didn't need to be driving.  So STOP for goodness sakes.

It was one of those experiences where you walk and you cry and you think to yourself, how the hell did I get here?  And your life flashes before your eyes as idiots continue to drive by you on the black ice.  I was like a deer in headlights actually.  I would see the lights coming towards me.  I would freeze.  Please don't keep driving.  Please don't keep driving.  I'm on the ballet flats.  Oh God...this is not how I wanted to go.

I think I walked a mile, in the freezing rain, in my ballet flats and white pants.  Did I mention I was wearing ballet flats and white pants?  Anyway.  My love cheered for me on my iPhone along the way as he sat on an airplane at the airport getting his wings de-iced.  Oh good Lord, right?  I cried and then constantly told him I was OK.  I think I see the entrance to the subdivision.  I'm OK!

And as I walked...I thought to myself, why the hell do I bother with this shit.  Why the hell do I commute to a job that doesn't appreciate the sacrifice I make.  Screw them.  I leave my beautiful children for this????  It's a wake-up call.  There's better for me.  I just have to figure some things out.

I walked in the back door to my mother-in-law's arms and my sweet angels' hugs and I was immediately OK.  But, wow, what a day.  What a test.  I didn't fall.  It didn't beat me.  I am WOMAN!  I conquered a frozen Scott Road in the freezing rain in ballet flats and white pants.  Amen.

I do not however have enough alcohol in my house tonight.  So, I will just have to close my eyes and wish that when I wake up tomorrow....

all my troubles will be out of sight.

Oh, but they already are.  Good night.

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