Monday, May 9, 2016

A New Beginning

It is the day after Mother's Day.  The kids are all nestled in bed and so much is going through my mind.  I have missed sharing my thoughts in this space.  Blogging was great therapy...sort of like talking to an imaginary friend or my Mom.  It felt good.

Jesse demands my attention lately.  It seems she is on me 100% of the time we are together.  As soon as she walked in the front door from the school, she came straight to me and showed me her art portfolio from the year.  I loved how she presented it to me so proudly.  The custom designed paper cover was decorated with softballs, basketballs and simply her name, JESSE, across the top.  So fitting.  Inside were pictures of a bird, a colorful, abstract version of her hand, and other creations...but her favorite was her frog.  The frog made me smile.  I loved the smile on her face as she flipped through her portfolio of 2nd grade art accomplishments.

Jesse loves to cook when she gets home.  We went through a scrambled egg phase, but she is tired of those now.  Then, we went through a bagel and cream cheese phase.  Nope, tired of those.  She would love to have ice cream every day, but I try my best to sway from that (not always successful).  Today, I grabbed Rice Krispies and marshmallows on the way home from work (along with the ziploc bags that I needed so badly) and you know what that means...seriously messy, good, old fashioned, several times a month it seems gooey treats.  You just can't beat them really.  They have to be better for you than Moose Tracks Ice Cream right?  By the way, the trick to really good ones is extra marshmallows and butter.

Jonah came home about an hour later.  He seemed happy today.  He was very happy to see the Rice Krispies Treats.  He was very upset when I distributed the last batch to her softball team and did not bring him home any leftovers.  This batch was truly more for him for that reason alone.  He hasn't been happy about end of the year projects in 6th grade.  Boy oh much for a relaxing end of the year.  No more games and parties at the end of the school year for him.  Finals weeks is coming up soon and he is not thrilled.

I am proud of him though.  I truly am.  He has a desire to make good grades.  He seems to truly have a pure, kind heart.  He loves his friends and his family.  I couldn't ask for a better Kindred Spirit.

But as I finally got them to bed, I am sitting in my favorite chair with a laptop in my lap and wondering where the time has gone.  Jonah still likes for one of us to tuck him in at night.  Tonight he asked me to lay with him just a minute.  I told him how I had just read a few books with Jesse that she has loved this year, Library Lion and I Need My Monster.  Then, I told him how we used to read Go Dog Go every single night.  He laughed when I recited the words from memory, "Big Dog.  Little Dog..."  I continued, "Do you like my hat?  No, I do not like your hat.  Good-bye.  Good-bye."  I must have read that 1,000 times to him in his dinosaur pajamas.

I realized as I said goodnight and told him he is my best always..that I need to write this down.  They are not grown up yet.  They are still my babies.  I am going to regret not doing this when they are on the verge of finishing high school.  I have continued to take pictures, but I worry that I might forget day to day simple, wonderful, plain old memories like this one today.

We had a wonderful Mother's Day together yesterday.  My love really went out of his way to make it extra special.  I want him to know that I will never forget that.  Where would I be without him...I do not know.

Mama, he is good.  He loves me very much.

And finally, tonight I am feeling equally happy, thankful and scared that this will all end too soon.  I guess you shouldn't fear these things.  When I do, I always think of how Marilla Cuthbert responded to Anne when she said, "Can't you even imagine you are in the depths of despair?"  Marilla calmly replied, "No I cannot.  To despair is to turn your back on God."  I am not a super religious type, but I totally took to heart everything Marilla said as if I were Anne of Green Gables myself.

My fondest memories with my Mom were watching these movies together.  I think I have finally realized how much she related to Anne as well.

Good Night...sleep tight...there is a very young waxing crescent in the sky tonight.

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