First Days

I don't really know how to begin this one.  I'm behind with all this.  No one will really notice but me, but for some reason I feel the need to say so.

So, I'm going to ease back in and not say much.



On the Friday before the Monday she started Pre-K, I stared at her in bed before I left for work and cried.  Her legs stretched so far across the bed.  She looked so grown up to me.  I wanted to stop time so badly.

On her first day of Pre-K, my love and I walked her in...against the rules of her new school.  I really didn't give a damn.  I even took my big camera in.  I took a few pictures.  I mostly focused on her though.  I had to make sure she was OK.  She was.  She was just fine.  She didn't even cry.  She's happy.  She's still happy.  She's going to be just fine out there.  I'm so proud of her.



This clown is in third grade.  My favorite grade.  I learned how to multiply in third grade.  I loved everything about it.  It comes easy to him...the math part...at least so far it does.  He has a test on the map and all the continents tomorrow.  He also has to spell intermediate on his spelling test.  He seems to have it down.  He's sick of me asking him how to spell it.

He threw the ball with me tonight.  I love playing catch with him.  I think I could do it all day and never get tired.

He wants a crew cut.  I think I'm going to let him get one this weekend.  I can't believe I'm going to do it, but the more I think about it, the more I think he deserves to have his hair just like he wants it.

I hope they don't mind me sweeping it all up and putting it in a zip-loc.  I hope they have tissues.

A Rhyme

Once upon a time there was a girl named Heather.  When she was a little girl, people called her Feather.

She grew up, went to college and studied to be an Aerospace Engineer.  Good grief you blessed girl, who put that in your ear?

Who knows...she was good in math and wanted to go to Space, it seemed to her like a wonderful place.

She didn't quite make it there, but she doesn't mind.  She's happier on Earth these days...she's not blind.

She married her first love and how happy he made her, she really loves that he likes to cook her supper  (Oh my God, that's so cheesy).

She's been through it all...bla bla bla bla.  She's glad for the rough times, that's why they make sport bras (OMG).

She runs sometimes because it relieves stress.  She likes to watch her daughter twirl in her dress.

Her boy plays baseball, and he keeps her busy.  She's trying to figure out how to get them to the World Series in Mississippi.

She's proud of him, so she'll figure it out...but honestly, she'd rather take another route.

Perhaps back to New York or California?  Perhaps to Florida or Bora Bora?

Oh well, Mississippi it is.  We've got to play ball.  Good Lord be with them cause it's going to be a tough haul.

I'm quite delirious at the tasks at hand, but I'm glad to be dealt them than be buried in the sand.

I realize now why I'm not an English professor, I need to go put some clothes in my dresser.

Aren't you glad I don't have time for this?  You must be in a tremendous bliss.

I'm impressed you came here anyway, please don't let this post push you away.

I appreciate you very much, you are my family, and I promise I'm about to hush.

I guess I will end with a picture and a wish for a life a little bit simpler.

But, all in all I'm blessed and thankful for my life.  Although, wouldn't it be nice if it was more like Barney Fife's?

I'll be back after baseball when it all settles down, when I'm back to normal or at least less of a clown.

I remember when...

I remember growing up at the baseball park.  Do you?  I remember the trucks backed up to the outfield and the cheering fans sitting in the back.  I remember exactly how they looked under the lit up night sky.  I remember my first T-ball team and my first jersey.  I played for Buck's Grill, which was a small hamburger place in the town that I grew up in.  Apparently, they had the best hamburgers around and everyone was sad when they went out of business.  Anyway, I remember my jersey was black and so was my hat.  I remember playing with a team of boys and girls.   I remember feeling nervous and a little awkward.  I remember thinking one of the boys was really cute and how I didn't want to look like a dork in front of him.  But, most of all, I remember loving the entire experience and feeling so proud to be a part of that team.

I also remember transitioning to softball and how proud I was that my Mom coached my teams.  She was tough and loving at the same time.  She got our attention on the field with her stern voice, and threw the best trophy parties for my team at our home at the end of the season.  I'm sure she cooked everything from scratch.  She did all this and worked a full-time job as well.  I so understand where I get all this from.

So, when I see my two growing up at a baseball field as well, it just seems right.  It's my normal.  I can't imagine anything else really.  I hope they look back on these moments with happy thoughts in the same way I did mine.

Jesse doesn't actually play baseball yet, but no doubt she has fun at the field.  I mean...just look at her with one of her best buddies, Erin.



It just doesn't get better than that.



And him.  He's all heart.  He's a little goofy.  He says things out loud to get a laugh from the crowd.  Sometimes it comes out and sounds quite awkward.  He looks like he struggles most than the rest when he's running.  The way he moves his arms makes everyone smile and sort of chuckle.  It's entertaining.  It's also a sign that he wants to be good.

I tell him that All-Star baseball is a little more serious and he returns with, "Mom, I just want to have fun."  How do you argue with an 8 year old about that?  "Ok, have fun...just please try you best OK?"
"Ok Mom."  That's the best I got.



It's truly what it's about to him.  He's playing his life long friends on other teams and he's thrilled to see them and watch their amazing talents.  He doesn't get too incredibly upset about a loss.  Sometimes...well, I think he's got it together better than us.

It's about fun times.  It's about making memories.  It's about being a kid.  I just feel so blessed that I can witness it with my own eyes.  I'm so glad I'm here.  I soak it in.  I breathe in the dust from the fields.  I shuffle the dirt through my flip flops.  I take their picture.  I embrace the moment...because I know the time passes by so quickly.

I know how she felt now.  I know exactly how she felt.  I get it Mom.  I truly get it.  I know why you were so passionate about us doing well.  It was for us.  You wanted it for us.  But you know what?  My brothers and I just loved the fact you were there.  We loved the experience and you.

Here's to summer baseball and my busy schedule.  I probably won't have time to blog much this summer.  I hope I am wrong...only because I want them to remember these moments.  Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode if I don't get all this written down for them...so maybe I will be here.

So Jonah, "I need a hit, a rip, a run and a score!  I need a hit, a rip, a run and a score!"

And Jesse, well, just have fun kiddo.  You'll be hitting soon enough.

I love you both.

Thankful

We went out for Mexican tonight guys.  It's Monday night.  I hereby declare all Mondays...well...Mexican Mondays.  It's the right thing to do.  I have no pictures from Mexican, but I would like to share these "last of Fall" pictures we captured last weekend.  They do say it's going to snow tomorrow in Georgia.  What's up with that anyway?  I don't know what to think.

Anyway...back to last weekend.

You know, most people were shopping after Thanksgiving.  I invision doing the same thing when the kids want to pick out cool, teen GAP clothes, but for now, we do the parks after Thanksgiving.  Hmmmm...how do I keep them wanting to do parks over shopping...like forever?  I don't know.  Truth is that it is probably impossible, but part of me looks forward to taking Jesse and picking out all of her Christmas clothes while Jonah screams at us to hurry up.  It's the natural progression of life I guess.

It was Saturday after Thanksgiving and the kids needed to get out.  So did Luke.

They were sort of delirious after all the food.  Look, you can see it in Jonah's eyes.  That's what caught my attention at first glance of the above photo.  But...look at Luke.  He also had turkey and pumpkin and sweet potato on Thanksgiving.  Luke buddy seriously needed to get out of the house and burn off some calories.

We heard lots of noises along the trail.  Some noises are obviously more apparent to children and dogs.  See, my love has no clue in the above photo.





And more proof.  There was obviously something creeping down low here.  Goodness...wish I was a kid again.  We miss all the fun you know.



Hey Luke Duke!  Luke, buddy, buddy boy.  You are so awesome.  We love you Lukey Luke!

I'm sorry.  This is how we sound when we talk to him.  We can't help it.

We had a talk about what to do if we saw a bear.  Like kids...don't run.  Here's the deal.  Mama will go ahead and check for bears and you have to stay still and listen.  If I'm alive, then the coast is clear.  Come towards me if I say it is OK.

They didn't seem to have a problem with this scenario.  Why is that?

They had a frisby golf trail along this path, and we stopped here and there and enjoyed the boys play.  What the heck is frisby golf anyway, and who in the world knows how to direct a frisby so well?



She was so excited about our adventure.  I loved her for it.



You know...I don't put myself in pictures much, and it's time for a change.  Yo...this is me and my dog.  We are a fine pair, don't you think?



This is me and my best girl and my best dog.  We make a great trio, don't you think?



And these three...well...this is the best trio of them all.

You know, I didn't miss shopping one bit.  I wouldn't trade this experience for the world.  I'm so thankful for my family.  They could never possibly top the gift of themselves that they have given me.  I will love them forever for it.

Always and forever my best boy and my best girl...

and my best man...

and my best dog.

Weighing In

So, here’s the thing.  I’ve been exercising regularly now for a little over three weeks.  Yes, it’s true.  I got off my ass.  Thanks to a dear friend of mine. She inspires me.  In fact, she has inspired many of us at work now.  We are like…I don’t know…we need a team name…and a t-shirt.  We’re running in a 10K in April.  We rock.  I’m so thankful to them for helping me work towards a tighter rear end.

We all leave our cubicles or test labs mid-day and meet up at the gym.  There’s this tiny little dressing room where we share stories of how sore we are, what crazy thing our kids did the night before, how to prevent blisters and from peeing in our pants while doing jumping jacks.  For an hour a day, there’s no stress from work or laundry that is piled up at home.  This is our time.  Our time to let it all go.

We are full time working women and Moms of different ages with similar schedules and routines.  Maybe we have different interests outside of this.  But what is so lovely about this group of women is that it doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t feel like competition.  It just feels good.  I wish I had a picture of us...one day.

Running…

I could lie and say it’s all about feeling good and being healthy and being a part of the group and not at all about body image, but that wouldn’t be true.  I’m not one to weigh myself or measure percent body fat, but I do look in the mirror just like everyone else and see the imperfections.  I think it’s human.  So, I’m not going to lie and act like I haven’t been trying to see a difference the last three or so weeks have made.  I do.  And if my appetite had not increased exponentially, I might have seen a difference by now.  But anyway, I guess I have a point here.  I finally weighed in.

I wish I could stop that way of thinking and just be 100% happy with how I look.  Is that possible?  Has anyone figured this out?  We can talk about it and preach it to our kids, but I’m still not sure if it is possible in this society we live in.  I guess that’s my point.

So, I guess we just need to recognize it.  Keep telling ourselves we don’t have to have it all and look the best.  That’s something else these girls have brought out in me.  There’s no such thing as a perfect life, body, family.  It just doesn’t exist, so why stress about it?

(She wanted to do this.  We cheered.)

So anyway…maybe we run to relieve stress (I’m telling you people, it really does).  Maybe we run for the camaraderie (I love these women).  Maybe we want to live long, happy lives (Who doesn’t?).  And maybe we also want to look good in a swimsuit this summer.  And maybe, it’s all of the above.  That’s just real.

Thanks ladies.  I feel my rear muscles when I walk.  I think it is actually shifting upward.  This is a good thing.

And now I need to work on my exponentially increased appetite.  I found these the other night in Kroger.  Yum!

And then my love sent Jesse in my bedroom with a bag in her hand saying, "I have a surprise for you Mommy!"



Oh dear goodness.





And this right here is why I exercise.  I ate this with so much joy and no guilt.



God Bless the Girl Scouts.

Feeling Good and Frosty

What do you do when you are feeling good and snowed in and can't go to work?  Well, that's easy.  You build a snowman.

And Jesse named him simply, Frosty.  

And you stare at him out your window and wonder how the hell you are going to get him to the North Pole before the snow melts, because he is so perfect, and well, because you've been wanting to make him since you were a little girl and may cry real tears when he melts.  

And on this day, I put a little check on my bucket list in my head.  We made Frosty.  I am in love with him.  How will I keep him forever????

This is what you call serious snow in the South.  Perfect for building Frosty.  Perfect for having a snowball fight.

It hasn't been the easiest start to 2011.  I've been sick and hate talking about sick details, but I'm much, much better.  Just FYI...don't let a stupid doctor give you an antibiotic without checking you for Mono.  It will give you the worst reaction of your life.  You'll think you are dying.  You'll go to the ER.  If you get lucky, your sister-in-law will rescue you from the ER while your love is out of town.  Your mother-in-law will come rub your back while you moan through the night while your sister-in-law coats your feet with cold wet rags.  You're love will finally get you to another doctor for a second opinion who looks you in the face and says simply...."You have Mono."  She'll say the other docs shouldn't have given you Augmentin.  She'll say it's Med School 101.  She'll say "Give a Mono patient Penicillin of any kind and they will have the worst skin reaction of their life."  You will look at her somewhat embarrassed you are 37 with Mono and somewhat relieved you are not dying.  If you are really lucky, you'll get snowed in for long enough to really feel better and enjoy all the people who helped you get well.  You will rejoice in watching your kids play in the snow and thank God for good health and a wonderful family.

That's what you will do.  Just in case you are wondering.

It's so good to feel good.  It's so good to have Frosty.  It's so good to have a wonderful family.  Thank you wonderful family.  It's so good to know how blessed I am.

The Next Day

My dear friend called me today and said simply, “Don’t you know you aren’t supposed to wear white pants after Labor Day?”  THIS is why I love her.  Everyone deserves a friend just like this.  She's awesome.

Ivory corduroys...thin ivory corduroys.

They are still soaking in my bathroom sink.  I may never wear them again.  Eventually I will ring them out and decide whether or not they can be saved.

Got my car the next day.  There were a few cars still sitting on the side of the road, waiting for someone to claim them, but this section was cleaned out.  Something so scary the night before was now so beautiful to me.

And check this out...CBS Atlanta at the entrance to my neighborhood.  They were probably looking for someone to volunteer a story.  I like to make fun of people who give their horror stories on the news.  "That there tornader nearly took the roof clear off my shed."  So, I rolled up the window, sunk down in my seat and hurried on by.  No, I don't know what all the fuss is about.  I would never get caught on an icy road and have to nearly crawl home in the dark. Only idiots do that sort of thing.

 

No, I was surely home enjoying this...

and my children and the signs of Christmas.

 

No, I would never be that stupid.

This is a test.

So, I wish I had my night on video for you.  I left work at 4:00.  Two and a half hours or so later, I WALKED up my front yard and in the back door.  Yes, I walked.  I left my car in a ditch and I walked the rest of the way in my ballet flats and white pants.  I walked in the grass, when I could find it.  It was dark.  There was freezing rain.  People were trying to drive past me.  I saw a lady swirving.  I stopped.  She yelled, "Sorry!  I'm swirving."  I said, "Well then, maybe you should stop!"  Amazing.  Southerners.  We are all clueless.

Obvioulsy the roads were completely frozen.  Obviously, people didn't need to be driving.  So STOP for goodness sakes.

It was one of those experiences where you walk and you cry and you think to yourself, how the hell did I get here?  And your life flashes before your eyes as idiots continue to drive by you on the black ice.  I was like a deer in headlights actually.  I would see the lights coming towards me.  I would freeze.  Please don't keep driving.  Please don't keep driving.  I'm on foot...in the rain...in ballet flats.  Oh God...this is not how I wanted to go.

I think I walked a mile, in the freezing rain, in my ballet flats and white pants.  Did I mention I was wearing ballet flats and white pants?  Anyway.  My love cheered for me on my iPhone along the way as he sat on an airplane at the airport getting his wings de-iced.  Oh good Lord, right?  I cried and then constantly told him I was OK.  I think I see the entrance to the subdivision.  I'm OK!

And as I walked...I thought to myself, why the hell do I bother with this shit.  Why the hell do I commute to a job that doesn't appreciate the sacrifice I make.  Screw them.  I leave my beautiful children for this????  It's a wake-up call.  There's better for me.  I just have to figure some things out.

I walked in the back door to my mother-in-law's arms and my sweet angels' hugs and I was immediately OK.  But, wow, what a day.  What a test.  I didn't fall.  It didn't beat me.  I am WOMAN!  I conquered a frozen Scott Road in the freezing rain in ballet flats and white pants.  Amen.

I do not however have enough alcohol in my house tonight.  So, I will just have to close my eyes and wish that when I wake up tomorrow....

all my troubles will be out of sight.

Oh, but they already are.  Good night.

He gets me.

My love sent me to a spa today for a facial.  I haven't had a facial in ten years.  It was amazing.  I do love him.  He picked me up when I was done.  He took me Christmas shopping.  We bought the kids jackets.  We sat down in my favorite restaurant for drinks.  He heard this song.  He said, Wow, listen.  I smiled.  He gets me.  God, I love this man.

Faithful friends who are dear to us...

I have faithful friends who are gathering tonight.  I didn't join them.  I stayed with my love.  I came home to tuck my kids in.  I wanted to.

Oh how I wish I could have had a toast with them and ran next door to my family, but I can't.  So, to my friends....I thought of you often today.  I'm with you in spirit.  I wish we were closer.

The kids were really excited to open my delivery when I got home.  Oh my.  I opened it.  I smiled.  I can't wait to send my close friends one of these.  They are going to love it.

Faithful friends who are dear to us....

It was a wonderful day.  

Really listen to this.  It says a lot.  I love my love.  I love my angels.  I love my friends.  They get me.  I love Christmas.  I'm feeling super blessed.  Life is good.

They decided to have a slumber party on the living room floor tonight.  It's Friday.

And have yourself a Merry little Christmas now.